2008-2019 Partners at the Hartford Bridge Club Part 2

Mentoring and short-term partnerships. Continue reading

This entry describes my partners who participated in the mentoring program of the Hartford Bridge Club (HBC) and the ones with whom I have only played once or twice. The regular partners can be found here. Those I encountered outside of the HBC mentoring program after the pandemic have been posted here.


Mentoring: The HBC’s Board of Trustees established a mentoring program several years after I became a Life Master. I cannot think of a way to set the date. The purpose was to allow newer players to pick up a few tips from more established players by playing together as often as possible over a three-month period. The incentive for the mentors was that one game per month was free. I always participated. I am not certain of the order of my partners, but I have put them in chronological order as closely as possible.

My technique varied little from year to year. I asked my partner what they wanted to focus on. I then asked them to send me a copy of the convention card that they were currently using. I wrote up a series of questions about the card/ After they answered we scheduled our play at mutually convenient times.

I communicated very little during the play. I generally try not to watch my partner’s play very closely because I do not want to make them nervous. If we had time after the round I might fo over anything that I noticed. Afterward I went of

My first partner in the mentoring program was Susan Glasspiegel1, who was already a pretty good player. At the time she played mostly with her husband Bob on holidays, in night games, and occasionally at the SBC. I also encountered them sometimes at nearby tournaments, where they often teamed up with Ru Cole and Silvia Szantos. I remember losing my temper when my team lost to them. I did not mind losing, but Ru was late turning in the score—for no good reason. That meant that both teams received the dreaded red dot. Two red dots would result in a loss of a victory point. My team never got the second dot, but theirs did.

I don’t think that playing with me had much effect on Sue’s bridge game. At the time she was pretty set in her ways. Bidding has always been my favorite aspect of bridge, and she made it clear that she needed to continue bidding the way that she did because Bob was unlikely to change.

I remember that Sue played Standard American rather than 2/1, her sparse set of conventions included the Brozel defense against 1NT openings. She also insisted that if she was responder after a one-level opening in a suit, and her right-hand opponent overcalled, that a 1NT response did not necessarily imply a stopper in the overcaller’s suit.

In later years Sue played at the HBC quite a lot with Lee Wilcox and a few other people. By then I think that her bidding was more sophisticated.

Sue suffered a very bad accident in 2022. However, when she heard that we had two and a half tables in Simsbury, she told Bob that she wanted to play so that we could have a reasonable game. That was very nice of her.


JoSue Coppa: JoSue usually played with her husband, Gene, described below, both in tournaments and at club games. I was a little surprised to learn that she had signed up for the mentoring program.

I cannot remember any memorable occurrences during our partnership. I don’t think that she advanced a lot.

Gene and JoSue moved to Fairfax, VA, during the Pandemic or shortly thereafter.


I also don’t have a lot of memories of playing with Linda Erickson. The main one is that I was scheduling games for her at the time that I had scheduled a game with Linda Starr. It was the first and (so far) last time that I double-booked. The other Linda was very gracious about the situation, although she admitted that she had placed a curse on us. Linda E. and I had a horrendous result.

I remember that Linda said that in her house she was the CEO of the kitchen. She evidently did not appreciate her husband messing around with culinary paraphernalia.

Linda served as vice-president of the HBC for a while. I guess that she was in line to become president, but for some reason she decided not to. My wife Sue, who was on the nominating committee speculated that her reluctance was because of the fact that she and her husband were moving to Charlotte, NC. However, she was still playing locally in 2020, so she must not have moved before the Pandemic.


Fran Weiner2 was a member of the HBC long before I returned to the world of bridge, but she did not have a lot of masterpoints. We only played together a couple of times. In fact, I ended up owing her

At the time, Fran’s daughter Jennifer, a novelist was involved in some kind of promotional event in California for one of her novels or screenplays or something. So, Fran went out to the West Coast to help her or to babysit or something. I expected Fran to get in touch with me when she returned, but she never did.

Bridge was not a very important part of Fran’s life. She was in the ACBL for twenty-nine years, and she only amassed 282.19 masterpoints. I doubt that she got much out of our association. Nevertheless, I was quite disappointed that she seemed to disappear from the HBC after that. I wanted to learn more about how her daughter managed to break into the world of publishing.

I often say that everyone in bridge has an interesting backstory. Hers certainly qualified.


John Calderbank came to the mentoring program with a specific objective, to learn the 2/1 bidding system. I wrote up a description of the differences between the Standard American that John had always played and 2/1. The differences were not insignificant, but there were not a lot of new things to learn.

John probably got more out of our partnership than any of the other people with whom I worked. When I wrote this entry in 2023 I was still playing with him in the morning game at the HBC nearly every Tuesday. I subsequently have taught John a few new conventions, but he mostly has wanted to take it slowly.

John and Mary Sullivan (below) took over management of the mentoring program in 2022. Their oversight was far superior to the previous coordinator’s.

In 2023 John was still doing a lot for the club behind the scenes. In addition he and his wife Nancy (below) were running an unsanctioned game in their home town of Glastonbury. He also took and passed the ACBL’s directorship test. His first assignment for the club was to direct the Sunday afternoon High-Low game. My wife Sue and I played in it regularly.


Of all of my mentoring partners3, Mary Sullivan was the most conscientious. She always responded to my emails, which she shared with her regular partner, Xenia Coulter, and she usually had additional questions.

Xenia was already a Life Master when I started playing with Mary It did not surprise me at all when Mary achieved the same rank in 2022.

In 2023 Mary was still running the the club’s mentoring program with John Calderbank (above). She also was assisting several of the other programs aimed at helping newer players.

Mary has hearing difficulties and macular pucker, scar tissue in the macula that can distort vision. Through my first seventy-five years I avoided the first of those, but I was still struggling with the latter in my left eye.


In 2022 Nancy Calderbank asked me to be her mentor. Like her husband, John, she had been playing bridge for a long time, but she wanted to learn how to play the 2/1 bidding system. We only got to play together a few times, but I am pretty sure that she had mastered 2/1 by the time that the mentoring period was finished.

I also worked with Nancy for three years on the HBC Board of Trustees. She and John, whom she called a “busy-body”, also ran an unsanctioned bridge game in Glastonbury, CT.


In the summer of 2023 I got to meet and play with Fran Gurtman, who had much less experience than any of the other players whom I had mentored. She was still a practicing physician when we started playing together.

Fran had taken online lessons. The first convention card that we played was very unsophisticated. It had no defense against 1NT openings, and it also lacked Jacoby 2NT, New Minor Forcing, Drury, and other conventions used by most of the mid-level players at the HBC. We only played together, but she felt comfortable adding most of them.

On November 8, 2023, Fran was driving from her home in Avon to play with my wife Sue in the weekly Wednesday evening game at the Simsbury Bridge Club. A deer jumped in front of her car. The collision killed the deer and damaged the auto. She called Sue to ask if she was still needed. Sue told her that we would not be able to have a game if she dropped out.

So, after filing a police report Fran drove the car, which was difficult to steer, to her house and drove a different car to the game. She arrived only a couple of minutes late.


A new mentoring session started in January of 2024 and ran through March of the same year. I was assigned by the mentor program to work with Mike Kaplan, who had even less experience than Fran did. Our convention card contained a lot of blankness. I taught him New Minor Forcing, Fourth Suit Forcing, and the two-suited bids.

Unfortunately, we had to play in the open pairs games at the HBC. Our results were therefore not very good, but I think that Mike learned quite a bit. I wrote up all of the hands on which we did poorly as I always did. I could have played for free in three of the games, but I donated the money to the HBC, which got reimbursed $30 by the CBA.

Playing with Mike on March 7 I was dealt the following hand: A5432 A653 A5 62. This hand had no face cards and only forty-four pips, an incredibly low number. The lowest possible number is twenty-eight. Mike had a very good hand, which got a lot better when blended with my three aces. He took all the tricks, but we only bid 4. We got a bad score.

At the same time I served with Mike on the HBC Planning Committee.


One-time partners: For quite some time I have maintained a spreadsheet with one line for each person with whom I have played at least one entire session in a sanctioned game at a club or tournament. Below is a list of the ones with whom I played only one or two games at the HBC. They are listed in alphabetical order, mostly just to make things easier for me to make sure that I did not skip anyone.


A guy whose last name was Balasubrama played on Saturdays a few times one summer at the HBC. He asked everyone to call him Bala, but the spreadsheet also has KC in the First Name column. On at least one of those occasions I played with him. He was pretty good, and he liked to play with me.

I could find no trace of Bala either online or in my database of players. Perhaps he dropped out of the ACBL before I began downloading the rosters in 2013. It is also possible that I have his name wrong. Unfortunately, in 2023 there is no longer a way to look up HBC results on the Internet.


Myrna Butler lived in Southwick, MA. She came down to the HBC to play occasionally. I played with her at least once at the HBC. I am pretty sure that she answered one of my mass emails soliciting partners.

I remember that some time after we played together I found a card filled out by Myrna at the partnership desk at the regional tournament in Cromwell. My team had been eliminated in an early round of a knockout. We planned to play in the next day’s “Loser Swiss”, but one of our team members was not feeling well. Since we had already played together, I assured the remaining members of the team that I would play with Myrna. However, I was unable to get in touch with her. I later learned that she had gone home and had neglected to remove her card from the partnership desk. I don’t recall how the team dealt with the situation.

I played in a Swiss team event at a tournament in (I think) Hyannis, MA, with Myrna and her partner, Connie Dube (introduced here). They were late for the first match. Helen Pawlowski, the tournament manager, and Sally Kirtley, who at the time was learning Helen’s job, sat in for the first match. After she learned whom she was replacing Helen said, “Oh, Myrna’s always late.”

Myrna has played a few times at the HBC since it reopened after Covid-19.


Gary Cohen played bridge for only a little more than a year, but what a year it was! He played mostly at Stan Kerry’s West Hartford Bridge Club (WHBC) game at the temple in West Hartford3. During his first year of play Gary amassed more masterpoints at club games than any other rookie in all of North America. That earned him the national Ace of Clubs award, as well as the district and unit versions. Since I was still playing with Dick Benedict, that must have been in 2008.

I am pretty sure that I played at the temple with Gary once. He made a joke about getting out the big (circumcision) knife. Although we did pretty well, I did not enjoy the experience much. Stan’s laissez faire style of directing was not appreciated by serious players like myself.

I am certain that I played with Gary at the HBC. It was on December 31 of, I think, 2009. Gary asked me to play in hopes of augmenting his chances of winning the award. We did win a fraction of a black point, but, as it turned out, he didn’t need it.

I remember playing on a team with Gary at the Cromwell tournament the next year. We had to play against Y.L. Shiue’s team. Gary did not think that it was fair for us rookies to be matched against “the best card-player” at the club.

Gary, who was a professional photographer, often went on vacations with both his wife and his ex-wife—at the same time! He insisted that he could get away with this because he was “a catch”. His LinkedIn page is here.


Gene Coppa and his wife JoSue (introduced above) joined the HBC a few years after I did. I played with Gene at least once at the club. We played together at a limited game on Wednesday afternoon that was designated as an NAP qualifier. There were at least ten pairs. Gene and I were the only people in the B strat. All of the other players were in the C strat and had considerably less experience than we did. So, we should have easily been able to qualify; in fact, we should have won.

Instead I got the worst result that I had ever received at the HBC. We finished dead last, and we did not earn our Q.

I was playing East that day; prior to that time I had always sat in North, South, or West. For quite a few years thereafter I refused to sit East in that building. When I began playing with Joan Brault (introduced here), she insisted on playing West when we were assigned to sit East-West, I reluctantly discarded the superstition.

Gene served a term as HBC president. He also served as hospitality manager for Unit 126 before the Pandemic. He and Jo Sue moved to Fairfax, VA, in 2022.


Phyllis Crowley

Phyllis Crowley was a fairly new player when I was paired with her for some reason. She was, in my recollection, somewhat overwhelmed by the event.

I think that she still plays in limited games in 2023. I have not seen her in any open games, but she was still on the email list.


Lucie Fradet.

I remember playing with Lucie Fradet once at the HBC, but I do not remember the circumstances. I remember, too, that Felix Springer and I helped her to win some gold points at a regional while playing in a Swiss event of some sort.

In 2023 she was still a member of the HBC , but she mostly played at the WHBC.

In real life Lucie had been a French teacher, and she still loved to speak in that language.


Marsha.

I am certain that I played with Marsha Futterman only once at the HBC. She was a very good player at one time. She even won the Governor’s Cup at a sectional, but she refused to take the very large trophy home.

Carl.

Marsha often played with Peter Katz. She told me that she thought that she was a better bidder than Peter, but Peter played his cards better. That may have been true then, but Peter’s bidding improved, and Marsha’s play did not.

Marsh directed the Saturday games at the HBC. Her husband, Carl, often came with her, helped set up and clean up, and filled in at the bridge table when necessary. When Marsh played with him (to avoid a sitout), she was constantly frustrated by the way that he played. I suggested that she could play with my partner, Peter, and I would play with Carl, but she did not want to do that.

Marsha gave up bridge after the Pandemic. I don’t know why.

Carl Futterman died on November 12, 2023, while I was composing this entry. His obituary can be read here.


Margie Garilli

Margie Garilli has for year run one or two games in the northeastern suburbs of Hartford. She has played at the SBC quite a few times, mostly with Donna Lyons. She seldom came after the Pandemic because she could not drive at night.

Margie, who is a pretty good player, asked if I would play a game with her at the HBC. I quickly agreed. I don’t know if she got a great deal out of it, but she seemed to have a good time.


Marilyn Goldberg.

Marilyn Goldberg was an exceptionally good player with much more experience than I had. She asked me to play with her very late in her career. I made a mistake—I don’t remember the details—and she remarked that she knew that I would do that. That hurt.

Marilyn died in 2022 at the age of 93. Her obituary can be read here.


Judy Hyde.

I played with Judy Hyde quite a few times before she moved from the Hartford area to Northampton, and I played with her a couple of times at the Northampton Bridge Club before she paired up with Bob Sagor.

On one occasion at a regional tournament in Nashua, NH, my wife Sue and I went out for supper with Judy (my partner at the tournament) and Judy Cavagnaro (Sue’s partner). The unusual aspect was that Judy C. was married to Jud H.’s ex-husband, Tom Hyde. There was not a bit of animosity between the two Judys.

On her eightieth birthday Judy bought herself one lesson and game with a local pro, Doug Doub.

Judy served as the representative of Unit 186 (Western Massachusetts) on the committee that I formed to determine the first winner of the Weiss-Bertoni award. That process was described here.


C.J. Joseph.

C.J. Joseph‘s first name was Carolyn, but absolutely nobody called her anything other than C.J. I only played with her once.

C.J. met her husband, who was (to the best of my recollection) a hospital administrator while they were both attending the University of Michigan. So, most of our conversations were about the Wolverine football team.

She left the Hartford area for a seaside home they built in Englewood, FL She scoffed when joked about her house being washed away. I don’t know; the Ross Ice Shelf is several hundred meters thick and the size of France. Nothing but friction is holding it back.

In 2023 C.J. was still a member of the ACBL, but she did not appear to be playing any more. A lot of that happened during the Pandemic


Joel Krug.

Joel Krug was still a regular at the HBC as I wrote this in late 2023. I only played with him once, but I recognized him on an old photo of an annual meeting, and none of the other members looked familiar.

The only thing that I remember about our game was that he was surprised that I knew how to play the McCabe Adjunct as well as the Brozel 1NT defense.

Joel was one of the best players at the club. He may have lost a step over the years, but he was still formidable.


I played at least one round with Pam Lombardo, when she was just a novice. Maybe it was during one of the first sessions of the Sunday high-low game before Covid-19.

Pam has had significant health issues that seemed to affect her ability to play, but in 2023 she was still an active member of the club.

A friend of hers named Butch Norman was one of two recipients who objected to me using the name Tonto in one of my emails. I discussed this incident in detail in the blog entry that I posted here.

At one time Donna Feir planned to hire Pam as a director, but that plan never came to fruition.


Jim Macomber (MAY cum ber) was a regular player in the Tuesday evening games when I first started playing at the club in 2008. I may have played against him more times than against anyone else.

One of Jim’s regular partners at the HBC morning games was Jeanne Striefler. I asked Jeanne and Jim to team up with Eric Vogel and me for the knockout in the Presidential Regional in Southbridge in February of 2023. We did very well on the first day, but terrible on the second. The saga has been recorded here.

Later in 2023 I finally got to play a round as Jim’s partner. I had long respected him a great deal. Our result was uninspiring, but it left me hoping for a second chance.

When Jim had his cataracts removed in the late summer of 2023 he was left with double vision, something to which I could relate. He was unable to drive until he got a pair of glasses to address the situation.


Partab Makhijani was my regular partner on Tuesday mornings at the HBC before Covid-19 caused the club to close. We played a fairly sophisticated card. I remember that he criticized one of my bids once, but I don’t recall the details.

Partab did not return to the club after it reopened in 2021, and I have not heard any explanation for his absence. His LinkedIn page, which is posted here, in 2023 listed him as part of the adjunct faculty of the University of Hartford.


Lesley Meyers was (and still is in 2023) one of the best players at the club. We only played together once. There must have been something about my style that she did not like. She never responded to any of my emails after that.

Lesley (LEZ lee) notices things about people. She was the only person who noticed the golf-ball-sized lump on my left elbow that was presumably caused by the effort required to extract gallons and gallons of water from the basement of our house in Enfield after Hurricane Ida in September of 2021. That episode is recounted here. I am glad that she noticed the problem. I saw a doctor about it, and he gave me a wrap that eventually reduced it to nothing.

Lesley was also the only person who asked me about the fingernails on my left hand. They apparently got severely bent and bruised when I fell in Budapest in May of 2022. That misadventure has been described in detail here.

When I first started to play at the club, no one intimidated me as much as Lesley. She was not tolerant about novices who took excessive times concocting their bids.


I remember distinctly that Nancy Narwold told me that one day that she would surprise me and respond positively to one of my emails soliciting one-time partners. Her name is on my spreadsheet, and I have a convention card for her. Therefore, it must have happened, but I don’t remember it. It seems strange that I remember the off-hand comment more than the 3.5 hour game that it resulted in.

I do recall that before she became a Life Master Nancy played almost exclusively with another woman whose name has escaped my memory—Karen Somebody, I think. The HBC held a party when the two of them achieved Life Master status. I attended. The other lady told tales about their efforts to attain the rank, including something about answering a knock on the door of their hotel room in a nightgown. I always considered Nancy a much better player than her partner.

After that event I don’t think that they ever played together again. From then until the closing for the Pandemic Nancy played mostly with Joel Krug. She also ran an unsanctioned bridge game at one of the country clubs on the west side of town.

I have deduced that in 2023 Nancy teaches business at Manchester Community College. If so, her LinkedIn page is here. She is still winning masterpoints; she probably plays online.


Val Orefice was not as serious about bridge as most of the people on this list. Although she joined the ACBL in 1994 (ten years before I did), she only made Bronze Life Master in 2012, a year after I did. She dropped out in 2018.

I remember only two things about Val. The first was that she did not seem to be familiar with several of the conventions that nearly all the accomplished players used. The other was that she pronounced her last name the same as the common word “orifice”. The Italian word orefice means goldsmith and is pronounced oh RAY fee chay.


I played with Pam Palmer a few times when her main partner, Aldona Siuta, could not play. Pam. They played a much simpler system than I was accustomed to. They very seldom made mistakes, and both of them were very good at playing the cards.

In 2023 Pam was still playing, but at a much reduced rate. She seemed to be very frightened of Covid-19, perhaps on account of her partner.

Both Pam and her partner were quite active in the same church attended by the Calderbanks.


Susan Pflederer, who was (and still is in 2023) one of the best players at the HBC, once told me that she wanted to play with me because she had a hard time playing against me. This astonished me because I did not remember having particularly good results when I played against her.

I know very little about Susan. She had been playing bridge for a long time when I started. I seem to remember that our results were mediocre. I probably made some mistakes that she noticed and I didn’t. We never played again.

After the Pandemic Susan has played less than she did before.


Trevor Reeves has the unique distinction of playing with me without making it onto my spreadsheet. When we were scheduled to play together a second time, he was able to show me the results from our first partnership. I cannot imagine how it could have happened, and I took no notice of it.

Trevor learned to play bridge in England, which explains why his BBO handle is ACOLyte. Trevor is a very good player. Although in late 2023 I still have more masterpoints than he does, the people in the club obviously consider him a better player than I am.

Trevor formerly played as a teammate of mine at many tournaments, and we did quite well. He also played with me in a pairs event at the Summer NABC in Toronto in 2017 (no notes?). We won our section in the evening session.

I would like to play more with Trevor, but he obviously prefers other partners. He asked me to play with him in the sectional in Orange in August of 2023, but I had to turn him down because of a previous commitment to play in the sectional in Great Barrington, MA.

Trevor’s primary partner at tournaments has been Felix Springer. They have a great record together and even made it to the semifinals of Flight B of the Grand National Teams in 2022.

Trevor served as both the president and then treasurer of the HBC. He was responsible for implementing the accounting changes that allowed the club to do accurate budgeting during and after Covid-19.


Joan Salve.

I cannot say that I enjoyed the one time that I played with Joan Salve. Her world view was just too different from mine. I don’t remember any details, but I was happy when the session was over.


Carol Schaper.

I met Carol Schaper at the SBC. She was a regular there when I first started playing. I liked her a lot.

She played with a former nun named Louise Alvord. Carol was interested in my book on the popes (posted here). She especially liked the title, Stupid Pope Tricks: What St. Mary Immaculata Never Revealed About the Papacy. Louise, however, did not want to hear anything about Roman Catholic clergy, good, bad, or just unusual. Carol tried to defend me, but Louise did not want to hear it.

I played with Carol only once at the HBC and never at tournaments or, for that matter, the SBC. I thought that she had the potential to be a pretty good player, but she did not want to put in the effort.

Carol was one of the thousands of people who let their membership in the ACBL lapse during the Pandemic or shortly thereafter. She had enough points for Life Master, but she must have been short some gold and/or silver.


Susan Seckinger has long been a key person at the HBC. She was hired as a director and Donna Feir’s right-hand person. Before that she was a critically important official for Unit 126. She had the formidable responsibilities of being both the treasurer and the tournament manager at the same time. She did a good job in both roles.

Susan’s husband Gary was considered one of the best players in Connecticut. He often played with Deb Noack at sectionals. He died in 2014, just as I was becoming active at the district and unit levels.

I only played with Susan once. I think that we both enjoyed it, but we never played again. She has long had a small group of women with whom she played regularly.


Mike Smith almost always played with his wife Susan. They became a formidable pair during their stay in the Hartford area. They even won a pair of national championships. Mike was a Life Master when they moved to God’s country. I spoke at Susan’s Life Master party and complained that she had never once agreed to play with me and that they had stolen my favorite teammates, Bob and Shirley Derrah.

I never got to play with Susan Smith, but on one occasion Mike asked me to play with him on a Tuesday evening when Susan was busy elsewhere. I jumped at the chance. I really enjoyed it, but he was an intimidating figure (both physically and at the table). I made a mistake that kept us from having a good round. It was embarrassing.

Mike was still working full-time while the couple lived in the area. So, his presence at the HBC was pretty much limited to evenings, weekends, and holidays. Susan, however, became a rather active member. I an pretty sure that she participated in the mentoring program.

In the post-Pandemic period the Smiths moved to Alexandria, VA. I have not encountered them since they did.


Linda Starr.

I first met Linda Starr during the Tuesday evening games. She usually played with Mike Carmiggelt in those days. They—and many other players in those games—were good enough that they intimidated me. Once Mike accused my partner and I of something unethical. When I responded with a one-word interrogative: “Ethical?” Linda immediately responded by saying that Mike was just crabby because he was hungry. I am not sure why, but Linda has not played with Mike for a few years.

I have paired with Linda a few times at the club and at least once at a sectional in Orange. That experience has been recorded here.

Shortly before Covid-19 struck Linda passed the director’s exam and was hired by the HBC. At my suggestion the club bought a subscription to MailChimp to send emails about news of the club. Linda took over the project of maintaining the database and composing emails. Her emails throughout the closure helped maintain a sense of community among club members.

Doug Eitelman.

Linda came up with the idea of the High-Low game on Sunday as a way for experienced players could help the less experienced. She has unofficially mentored Doug Eitelman and greatly improved his game.

Linda and I worked together on the fantastically successful Limited Sectionals that were sponsored by the HBC in 2023. Documentation of those events begins here. At the time she was a member of the board of the Connecticut Bridge Association (CBA). She became very upset at the handling of the notorious “Tonto Scandal” that has been documented here. After a short sting on the CBA board she resigned. At the HBC’s annual meeting in October of 2023 she became the first director ever elect to the Board of Trustees.


Gary Cohen put together a team for a Swiss event at the HBC. I don’t remember the date. I was assigned to play with Merrill Stein, whom I barely knew. I don’t remember any more details. I think that Merrill died in 2018. An obituary for someone with that name has been posted here.


Jeanne Striefler has been an active member of both the HBC and the SBC for longer than I have. We have played on teams together at tournaments quite a few times and we have paired up at least once or twice.

On a few occasions Jeanie (as everyone called her) invited my wife Sue and me to the house in West Simsbury that she shared with her husband Fred4. One of those occasions was when she celebrated making Silver Life Master, and Susan Seckinger celebrated making Gold Life Master. She probably would have invited us more often if we had reciprocated. Fat chance.

Fred Striefler.

Jeanie served as the HBC’s secretary for many years.

Jeanie and Fred went on a Viking cruise in France at the same time that I took the European cruise (described here). She contracted Covid-19 near the end of the cruise and was unable to leave Paris for several days. She reported that she had had a terrible experience. She was surprised that I enjoyed my journey and thought that Viking did well under the circumstances.


I learned when I played with Rowna Sutin at the HBC that she had been a professional opera singer in Pittsburgh. She appeared as Musetta in Puccini’s La Bohème. I immediately remarked that she must have sung the show-stopping aria, Quando me’n vo’5. I then asked her if she wore a red dress. She said that her dress was not red, but it did have a very long slit in the skirt.

I also discussed with Rowna about the version of Tchaikovsky’s Eugene Onegin that was performed on television and is available on YouTube here. Rowna did not like the cuts that were made. I felt that the cuts made it a much better television show and highlighted the talents of the wonderful choir and dancers.

I told Rowna about my favorite Tchaikovsky opera, Cherevichki. She replied “How come I have never heard of it?” I wasn’t sure how to explain why it has not gotten much attention in the U.S. I speculated that it might be because it was difficult to stage. I refused to believe that it had anything to do with the music.

That was the last time that I saw Rowna. For some reason she stopped coming to the HBC. She was still a member of the ACBL in 2023, and she had won a few masterpoints during the year.


Bill Watson.

Bill Watson became the president of the HBC shortly after I joined. As president he arranged for Michael Lawrence, a world champion and highly respected author, to visit the club and give a free presentation on takeout doubles. He even let him stay overnight in his house.

I attended the event. During a break I encountered Mr. Lawrence in the men’s room. He stumped me with a question about whether the faucet’s water ever became hot.

Michael Lawrence.

Bill was also a director at the HBC and with Laurie Robbins ran the club’s education program for new members. For six years he ran the Limited Sectional that the club hosted every October.

I played with Bill a few times before Covid-19 shut down the club in 2020. I remember that he was shocked when I said that a bid at the two-level in the fourth seat should show a minimum opening hand. The club’s experts agreed with me, but later when I played with Barbara Gallagher that the best players in Denver played that the same bid at the one-level was weaker.

Before the Pandemic Bill often was the public address announcer at football games for one of the local high schools in Hartford.

Bill and I have not played together since the club reopened. He mostly has played with Mike Carmiggelt and Larry Bowman.

Bill drove a red Jaguar that gave him a lot of grief in 2023.


John Willoughby started playing at the Tuesday evening games a little after I did. I think that I only played with him once, and I don’t remember any details about the occasion. My wife Sue played with him pretty often online during the Pandemic.

Although he and his wife had moved to North Haven in 2022 John continued as president of the HBC until his sudden and very unexpected death in the summer of 2023. Previously he had lived in Suffield. In his business life he worked as an underwriter for one of the insurance companies. His obituary can be found here.

When John was vice-president of the HBC, he was also the chairman of the Planning Committee, of which I was a member. The committee came up with many good ideas during this period.

The club held a special event as a tribute to John. Many of his family and friends attended. Over $6,000 was raised for the club.


1. In September of 2023 Bob and Sue Glasspiegel moved to Charleston, SC.

2. I was surprised to discover that Fran was still living in West Hartford when she died in 2021. Her obituary is posted here.

3. Stan had just opened his club when Gary began the year of his feat. Stan took advantage of a loophole in the ACBL rules to give extra points by designating every game as a “charity game”. In addition, although all of the games were technically open games, almost no Life Masters ever attended. So, because the games were fully rated—and then some—it was much easier to earn points at the WHBC than at the HBC, where the open games were dominated by experienced players. .

4. Fred was introduced here. His real first name was Manfred, not Frederick.

5. The long version would be “quando me ne vado”, which just means “when I go out”. I don’t know what happened to the “e” in “ne”.

2023 Bridge: The Tonto Scandal

A scandalous email. Continue reading

If you were offended by the title of this entry, you know where you can cram it.

Bill Watson.

In the twelve years before the pandemic the Hartford Bridge Club had hosted a one-day, two-session 199er Sectional, usually in October. For at least two of these events I emailed promotional pieces. The last one in 2019 was run by Bill Watson. The club was open in October of 2021 and 2022, but the event was not held.

The ACBL had special rules for Limited Sectional. They were sponsored by the unit, but run by the club. The unit had no financial stake in the outcome.

The most attractive rule was that the club did not need a Tournament Director certified by the ACBL; it club could use its own directors. In late 2022 I researched the feasibility of resuming this activity and proposed to the Planning Committee and the Board of Trustees that the time was right to try it again. I created a spreadsheet (posted here) to demonstrate the profitability of the undertaking under certain assumptions. Although Bill was not interested in resuming his role, the other directors were on board, especially Linda Starr.

However, just as the club was finalizing its plans, the ACBL changed the rules: a TD or an Assistant TD would be required for Limited Sectionals. To become an Assistant TD one must pass an exam that had not yet been written. Peter Marcus, the president of the Connecticut Bridge Association and a qualified TD, assured us that we could hold the event as long as he was “standing by” if needed.

Donna Feir.

So, in January Donna Feir, the HBC manager, was considering applying for a sanction. On the 15th I sent an email to Linda Starr asking whether the directors had set a date, and, if so, did they want me to send emails1 promoting it. She answered the next day:

Yes! We have decided.  We’re having a one-day, two-session 0-750 NLM2 sectional on March 26. (The flyer is attached.) Who do you send the information to? (Just curious. I’d love to have you send it out to anyone 😁)

The flyer to which she referred can be viewed here. The event actually had two flights: one for players with less than 200 points and one for non-Life Masters with less than 750 points.

I had been thinking about how to approach the emails for this event for a few months. The key aspect, in my opinion, was the color of the masterpoints: silver. When I think of Silver, I think of the fabled steed of the Lone Ranger. So, I decided to make the horses of the LR and his faithful Indian companion Tonto the theme of the first email. You can view it here.

I sent a copy to Linda, whom I considered to be my boss on this project. She responded enthusiastically, “Thanks, Mike! This announcement is great!! It should get plenty of interest.”

Well, she was right about the interest. I sent the email to players in four units: Connecticut Bridge Association (CBA), Rhode Island, Central Massachusetts, and Western Massachusetts. 1,300 were sent; 54 bounced; 770 recipients opened the email a startling 1,794 times. The flyer was opened 90 times.

No one was in any way angry about it, but two people did not like the focus on Tonto. Elaine Reitman wrote this:

Not Tonto.

Don’t you think that in this day and age when sports teams from schools through NFL Pros are urged to change their team names exploiting Native American stereotypes and the US as well as local governments are expunging the term “squaw” from place names that this is a decidingly jingoist message.  Couldn’t bridge players be encouraged to attend a tournament for their own benefit without bringing midcententury stereotypes into play.  It’s insulting to receive messages using pidgen language and dated images.  

Not Jay Silverheels.

Her reaction frankly surprised me. Did she really feel insulted? I doubted it. Uncomfortable, maybe, about the fact that she was in the same group as someone who used a metaphor that had been a familiar part of the culture for nearly seventy years. I wrote back to her:

Did you think that the Johnny Depp movie was insulting? Jingoist? How so? The LR and Tonto on TV were good friends, and all of the bad guys that I can remember were white men. I used “Tonto” and “Scout” in the headline rather than “I am scouting for” to help people remember that Scout was the name of Tonto’s horse.

It is very hard to get people to read emails in this day and age, and I really care about reviving face-to-face bridge. I would not want to eliminate about half of the possible metaphorical references from my youth.

I am sorry that you did not like my choice of metaphors. I don’t get paid for this. I just do it because I love the game.

She did not reply. I received one other email in the same vein from Butch Norman:

If I am the only one to comment on your use of the pejorative word “Tonto”, then I guess it is my problem. However, if I am not, then you do have a problem that needs to be addressed. The Native American definition of “onto” is “idiot, fool, stupid”. 

I was surprised to learn this. Actually, the Native Americans have a very large number of languages. I didn’t have any idea which one Tonto spoke. here was my response:

One other, so far. I certainly did not intend to insult Native Americans. To me Tonto was a TV character who caught bad guys in the fifties. He talked a little funny, but so did Gabby Hayes and a lot of other sidekicks. Maybe that is problematic, but I don’t see it.

Butch sent this reply:

Thanks for your reply. Please don’t apply to today the standards of what was acceptable in the 1950’s. (Amos ‘n’ Andy comes to mind. I know you to be a better person than that.

I would have been happy to argue with him about Amos Jones, but I had to admit that Andy Brown was a blockhead. What that had to do with Tonto, who, in my opinion in no way conformed to any racial stereotypes, I never did figure out. I just let it go.

Bill Segraves.

The next email that I received was from Bill Segraves, the new webmaster for the CBA. He was not on the mailing list, and so someone must have shown a copy to him. He had a very different concern:

I just saw a copy of the draft advertisement for the 750 sectional and I very strongly advise against it.

I asked my wife, a non-bridge player “how bad is this?” She said “Bad, very bad.  Do you know what Tonto means in Spanish?  It means stupid.” I loved the Lone Ranger when I was a child, but we live in different times.

PS – if this fell into the wrong hands, it would be potentially very damaging publicity for Connecticut bridge.  This is not how we want to make our appearance in the newspapers.

I don’t know why he thought that what he saw was a “draft”.

I blame Miss Goldsich.

In the seventh grade at Queen of the Holy Rosary School in Overland Park, KS, I had a class Spanish, but I don’t think that Miss Goldsich ever drilled us on the twelve words in Spanish that mean “stupid”.

I checked my text again to be certain. All of the rest of the email was in English. Of what importance was it to anyone what one of the words meant in Spanish?

I could not let the claim in the PS go unanswered. Did he really think that someone was going to report us to the thought police in the media over this email? I sincerely hoped that they would! If they did, they would be required to let me respond, and I was quite sure that the CBA would come out very well in such an exchange.

Peter Marcus.

The President of the CBA, Peter Marcus, asked me to put the email on hold. It was too late for that, as I explained:

718 people have opened this email. Only two complained. I responded to both of them. Only eight people unsubscribed, a very small number. 32 people clicked on the link to the flyer. The content was approved by Linda Starr, the HBC director who is managing the project. She said that it was “great”.

I think that this is a tempest in a teapot, and everyone I asked at the HBC today agreed with me.

Peter’s response was typical of his bombastic communication style:

So, first, a small story/analogy.  It is customary in the Jewish faith to name a child after an important dead relative.  Sadly, my father’s father died 7 years before I was born, so, in a normal situation, it would have been automatic that I was given his name.  It was a perfectly good name when he “got it” long before, and there was no problem with it at that time.

Yet, I was born in 1955, and my grandfather was Adolf Marcus.  As you can imagine, the number of new “Adolfs” in 1955, particularly in a Jewish home, was pretty small.

The point is, something that was totally normally in 1900 was completely unacceptable in 1955.  Obviously, if my father had named me Adolf he wouldn’t do it to offend anyone or for a bad reason, he would do it to honor his father.  But, motives and intent didn’t matter; it was wrong and no amount of “good intent” could make it right.

I too grew up in the era of The Lone Ranger, watched it as a kid, and, between being desensitized to any bad undertones and living in the society at the time, it became part of my “normal world.”  It was not widely seen as wrong back then, at least to a small child in the early 60s, so it entered my mind and environment as totally normal.

But, we grow up, we advance, we learn from our mistakes.  What was societally acceptable in 1960 or, for that matter, 1860, is seen as wrong in 2023.  Much of this comes from how we grew up and the people around us.  And, while my parents didn’t express any concerns about the stereotypes in The Lone Ranger, they constantly reminded me not to repeat anything that I heard when we visited my mother’s parents, both of whom were of Southern society from the late 1800’s and thought nothing of using “the N word” in every day conversation.  To them, that was normal, what they grew up with, and they wouldn’t understand how anyone could see that as wrong.  But, thankfully, my parents had advanced from that mindset.

Mike has called this “a tempest in a teapot” and that is a fair view in some ways.  But, it is also the view of people who aren’t part of the stereotyping of Tonto, Kemosabe, etc.  People with that background may see it as more than that, as well as others who don’t have that background but understand that there are analogous things that could be said about whatever their ethic, religious, national, or cultural background is that they would find much more than “a tempest in a teapot.”

But, even if that is true, so what?  Are we “proud” that, in less than 12 hours, 2 people expressed complaint and 8 unsubscribed?  What will those numbers be 24 hours from now?  And, even if the protest is miniscule, what happens when this gets more public exposure?  Do we really want to read about this in Bridge Winners, or get a call from ACBL headquarters, let alone if this reached a wider audience?  As unlikely as it is, I really don’t want, as President of the CBA, to be explaining to a Hartford Courant reporter that we just see this as “a tempest in a teapot.”

At the same time Peter sent the following email to the officers of the CBA, with cc’s to Donna, Bill Segraves, and me.

I am sending this to just the CBA Officers and asking for as quick as possible your input/view on what has happened and what we should do.

Attached below is an ad for the March NLM sectional being held at the Hartford Bridge Club.  This is a tournament that was quite successful pre-pandemic and is targeting the very players who seem to have stepped away from face-to-face bridge.  So, we really want this to be a big success and have begun advertising it.  This started with an email to a fairly wide audience (a little over 700 people) who are eligible to play in it and live in the greater CT area.  The contents of the email are below.

When this was brought to my attention, I immediately sent a note and left a phone message asking to hold off on sending this out, but it had already been sent.  We have so far received few comments;  2 people complained, not sure who, and 8 people requests to be unsubscribed from our email distribution, both relatively small numbers.  But, of course, that is in just the last 12 hours during which time most people were probably asleep, so who know what will happen in the next day or two.

A small group of players in the Hartford area saw this and thought it was a very effective ad.  And, in many ways, it is.  So, there was no serious concern raised about it.

But, I did get input from someone and, when I saw it, and then passed it by some other people I respect and they saw it as a very, very serious problem.  While it is true that people of my generation and my ethnic background watched The Lone Ranger and saw nothing bad about it, that was when I was 6 and we lived in a different society.  In reality, this was a very bad show (Tonto is the Spanish word for fool or idiot) and, back then, the respect shown to Native Americans was so non-existent that the TV producers had to hire a Caucasian actor with heavy make-up, since it was just “known” that American society wasn’t ready for an honest depiction of a Native American.  Sadly, that view extended to many other groups seen as “lesser” by mid-20th century America.  But, the fact that it was customary and normal doesn’t mean it isn’t seriously offensive in 2023.

Below is an email I have written to apologize for this ad.  I am asking the officers for quick feedback on two issues

1) The apology itself and any rewording you want to suggest

2) How widely do we disseminate it, to just the people who got the email or to a wider audience, such as the CBA membership and/or the website

As to the 2nd issue, I can make arguments on both sides.  Wider distribution will just put this in front of more eyes who may be offended.  Lesser distribution can look like an attempt to “sweep it under the rug.”  Sadly, by the time we learn which of these is correct, it will be too late to actually do that.

Anyway, please get back to me as soon as you can.  I really would like to address this today, if at all possible before 12:00-1:00 so we can get something out before we start to get more negative feedback.  As I have said to someone, as unlikely as this may be, the last thing we really want is for the President of the CBA to be interviewed by a reporter for the Hartford Courant.

Two things about this are noteworthy: 1) I sent the email to Rhode Island, Central Mass, and Western Mass, not just CT; 2) Peter did not ask the officers whether they thought it was a good idea to send the apology; he just asked them to comment on the wording.

Despite Peter’s claim that it might be considered “sweeping it under the rug”, the three other officers said that the apology should only be sent to the addressees. One proposed a change in the wording. I had a different take.

So, the standard now is “can be offensive”? Who judges that? I am not only offended but insulted by this entire process. Can I veto it?

By the way, the people whom I informed about the two complaints asked me if I told them where to cram it. I did not. I responded politely, as I always do.

If anyone was actually personally offended (as opposed to imagining that others might be offended), which I doubt, I will be happy to apologize to them face-to-face with great sincerity. However, I would insist that they tell me what about this totally innocuous character (other than his name, which in a language not spoken by either major character is one of the twelve words for “stupid”) they find threatening or even discomfiting. I never heard of Tontophobia, and I doubt that more than a minuscule portion of the target audience has. Tonto merchandise and reminiscences are all over the Internet. I have never heard of anyone complaining about them. I can understand, to an extent, Bill Cosby being upset about Andy Brown and Kingfish, but I cannot understand anyone getting upset about Tonto.

I am as woke as anyone. I think that the rest of us owe an unimaginable debt to Native Americans. However, I think that it is a huge mistake to make any more of this. Two complaints out of 719 opens is a very small number. Believe me; I have read every single response to the more than a million emails that I have sent promoting bridge.

I also think that it is a terrible idea to try to rein me in. I have a proven track record over this last decade of grabbing people’s attention and getting them to tournaments.

Frankly, I would welcome any attention drawn by outsiders to the campaign. They would be forced to let me respond, and I would emphasize how hard it is to get people’s attention, how innocuous Tonto’s behavior is, and how important it is to get out our message.

Peter responded in his usual way.

I am sending this to you alone.  If you want me to expand the audience, I will.

1) No, you cannot veto it.  I am sorry if you feel offended by the process.  That was never the intent, but, if it had that effect, I apologize for that.  I am not telling you that you are wrong to be offended, the fact that you feel it is real, just as offense at the email is real.  But, I can be sorry that I had a part in making you feel that way, and I am.

2) Not sure I understand your comment about “…where to cram it.”  I have no doubt that you handled any complaints fairly and professionally.  My primary interest in knowing who they are is, if there is an escalation by them, I would know they were “the original two” and not new concerns.

3)  Actually offended, yes.  Obviously you do not feel that way, nor does Linda, and likely others who helped develop it at HBC.  But, under the heading of who were offended, we have

me

Bill Segraves

Sue Miguel (when I asked for her opinion if this was an issue, since I didn’t want to over-react based on my personal feeling alone, she immediately called me back and screamed “Are you out of your mind!!”)

Gail Marcus (twice CEO of half-billion dollar corporations who has experience with unintended but negative publicity)

I would also note that none of the CBA officers–Phyllis, Deb or Cindy–made even a suggestion that apologizing for this wasn’t necessary. 

You ask what is offensive about this.  I will speak for myself alone.  The first think I thought of, when I learned what Tonto means, is, as I was watching my tv when I was 6 and enjoying The Lone Ranger, what was the little 6 year old in the next apartment, whose parents came from Puerto Rico and spoke fluent Spanish, thinking as he saw a tv character called “Fool.”  Another group of people who lived in America (actually the first who lived in America) being insulted by American society, in this case, the TV industry.  This was what offended me as an individual, and it was a profound sorrow.

As to your record, I have to be one of the most understanding of that since my tenure being involved in these tournaments is the longest.  It is true, you have been outstanding at the technical issues of publicizing tournaments.  But more importantly, your copy, particularly for district emails to open players, is accurate and very effective.  I very much enjoy your humor and think you do an amazing job.  But, no one is perfect and I believe this was a well-intended but real error.  I do not see it as a concern or something for the future.  No one is trying to “…rein you in…” or even suggest that you shouldn’t use your considerable talents in marketing and humor to create bridge notices.  In fact, when someone suggested that, as President of the CBA, I should approve all CBA-related email, I rejected that concept totally.  I have complete trust in what you are doing (as I do with what Bill is doing on the website, Robin on the Kibitzer, etc.) and I have no belief that I need to approve everything or make sure there are no problems.  No one is “sitting over your shoulder.”

On a final note, sorry, but this is what I don’t understand; why is this an issue?  Linda’s email from yesterday (and a follow-up that she sent to me alone that I have chosen not to respond to) basically raise the “pc police run amuk” issue and you refer to yourself as being “as woke” as anyone.  All of these are newly introduced political terms to just feed ridiculous debates.

Even if one person was slightly offended, should we not care?  Is there really an argument being made that there was no way to publicize this tournament other than the Lone Ranger reference, that it was mandatory to use this imagery, and none other?  Why can’t we do a great job and not run the risk of offending someone?  And then, when someone is offended, rather than recognize that and address it, we get mad and raise the ante by suggesting their being offended is wrong and we shouldn’t care.  And, would we really be making this argument if the title of the email were

Imbecile Scout for Silver, Kemosabe

Because that is exactly what it says and I am sure some of the players who got it understand Spanish, let alone have Hispanic heritage.  While not Hispanic, my Grandmother was Spanish and my father’s full name, born in Berlin, was John Theodore Ricardo Roccamora Marcus.  I don’t understand Spanish (my wife does and knew immediately) but I was aghast when I learned what Tonto meant.

Bottom line: this was a good, clever, interesting idea that, in another environment, would have been exactly what it was intended to be without any excess baggage. However, we live where we live, not where we wished we lived, and, in our world, this was a mistake. It has to be recognized as such and, when there is a mistake, you apologize and move on. You don’t dwell on it, but you don’t ignore or defend it either.

I should have insisted on a change to the wording of the apology to make it clear that the decision to send it was not approved by either the Hartford Bridge Club or the Board of Directors of the CBA. I was not impressed by Peter’s attempt to appeal to authority (his wife and Sue Miguel). It was a ridiculous notion that someone writing in English must check every word in a missive against every other language’s use of that combination of letters. It was also totally ridiculous to set the level of judgment as the potential that one person might be offended. I WAS personally offended by the apology. Why was my actual offense ignored in favor of fear of the imagined offense of some vague group?

Peter then sent me one of his shortest emails ever: “When you send out the email, could you add me (or make me a cc) for it, so that I know it has gone out.  In the unlikely event that I hear about this independently, I would like to know if that happens before or after someone sees the follow-up.”

My response was even shorter: “Who said that I was sending out a follow-up?”

He sent me another long email. The important part was “In response to your latest question, ‘Who said I was sending a follow-up?’  the answer is me, President of the CBA.”

Of course, I knew that he was the president. I had attended meetings of the CBA for over ten years. The president presided at those meetings. I never heard of any other president ordering anyone to do anything. Peter had the only copy of the bylaws that anyone knew about, but I seriously doubted that the president had authority to order anything.

I responded simply: “I never agreed to send this, and I am not in charge of communications for the unit. I am absolutely convinced that this is just opening a can of worms for no good reason.”

His next email was another long one. The key paragraph was this: “I do not care what you are convinced of.  I am the President of the CBA and I am instructing you to send this to the same distribution list that you send the Tonto email to.”

I wasn’t impressed. I wrote back: “What gives you the right to order me to do anything? I am convinced that this Is unnecessary and potentially counterproductive. I refuse to do it.”

Cindy Lyall (right).

An email from Cindy Lyall, the treasurer of the CBA and daughter of Rich DeMartino3, put things in a different light: “Hi – just seeing if we have sent out an ‘apology’ yet.  If we have not, and only received 2 ‘complaints’, are we sure it’s necessary?  Don’t want us to exacerbate the ‘situation’ unnecessarily. “

Peter ignored this attempt to cool things down and instead sent the following:

At your convenience, find a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word President.

Since you claimed not to be responsible for communications for the unit, by what authority did you author and send this out?  There never was a vote of the CBA Board not approval from the Officers.  While the tournament may be run at the HBC, it is a unit function, not an HBC function, and the unit has responsibility for the tournament.

However, I have no interest in fighting with you.

You will send out the email apology as I instructed to the entire distribution list, copying me, and you will send me a copy of that distribution list to me as well.  This will go out before 5PM today.

Failing that

1) I will develop a list and send it myself.

2) I will inform D25 that, as President of the CBA, you are no longer on the D25 Executive Committee.

3) I will bring a motion at the CBA meeting on Thursday that you be removed from the CBA Board.

4) As District Tournament Coordinator, I will not sanction the tournament, so there will be no tournament to advertise.  I believe it is not in the interest of the CBA, ACBL or bridge to be associated with a tournament that appears to associate itself with offensive imagery and language and then refuses to correct it. Your call.

I was not afraid of the CBA board. I had a lot more experience working with them than Peter did. I knew how they thought. On the other hand, I did not want to be removed from the Executive Committee, which had become dominated by people who had very different ideas about how to resurrect bridge after the pandemic.

I took a different approach with my next email:

I asked for permission to use the CBA letterhead before the Orange tournament for which I drafted two emails because the CBA’s emails were so meh.

I will be happy to send you a spreadsheet with the names and email addresses of the people to whom I sent the email, but I will not participate in any apology or retraction. If you want to do those other measures, go ahead. I won’t like it, and I think that they are stupid moves. The only things that I live for are my cat, who is dying, my wife, who has a half dozen chronic illnesses, and face-to-face bridge. This does not affect the first two, but I am convinced that it is bad for the last. I also find it unbearably humiliating.

Peter responded with this:

Fine, please send me the distribution list.  Since the email does not come from your account and would be over my name not yours, your intransigence in this matter mystifies me but it is what it is.  Given that, I would welcome you changing your mind and doing the purely mechanical function of sending the email to end this disagreement.  Failing that…

I will inform Carolyn Weiser that you are no longer on the D25 Executive Committee.

You can either send me an email with your resignation from the CBA Board or, on Thursday, I will bring a motion for your removal per the CBA by-laws.

Since you are providing me with the distribution list, I will not do anything to impact the tournament itself.  There is no good reason to harm 50-100 bridge players4 because of your position.

It took me a few hours to produce the spreadsheet that I sent to him. In his next email he expressed sympathy for the condition of Bob the cat and asked me if I intended to resign. I ignored the former and answered his question in the negative.

At this point Peter sent a copy of the emails that we had exchanged to all of the members of the CBA board. He included the following text:

I am sorry, this is not a pleasant issue to raise. Over the last few days, I have been dealing with an email, sent out under CBA auspices, advertising the March 26 NLM sectional at the Harford Bridge Club. This has engendered a long series of email back and forth between myself and the other CBA Officers – Phyllis, Cindy and Deb, Mike Wavada and Linda Starr and Bill Segraves. It concerns the advertising copy for this tournament and the issue that I and a number of other people found it inappropriate if not offensive. This email was sent to about 1350 NLMs in CT and surrounding units.

As President, and with the input of the Officers, I generated a follow-up email, apologizing for the content and sent over my name and contact information. Linda and Mike objected and didn’t want me to send it, believing the email was not an issue and that sending an apology would bring more attention to it. I and others felt that this was the kind of issue that, as unlikely as it might be, could explode on social media and other venues and that the best approach was to be forth wright, apologize and move on. As CBA President, I was willing to “take the heat” and did not expect Mike or anyone else involved in its creation to be publicly criticized or humiliated.

Yet, over the past few days, Mike, who had the distribution list that it was sent to, has categorically refused, despite my request and then my instruction as President, to send out the apology.  He has, finally, sent me the distribution list and I have sent out the apologies (you all received one), despite the fact that this caused some havoc with my personal email due to the volume being sent.

While we can disagree on the severity of this issue, I maintain that there is no setting in which offending even a small number of players is good when other imagery and wording could have been used which would offend no one.  I have also been accused of being part of “PC cops run amuk [sp]”, having no authority to make this decision, etc.  I did decide to move forward without the full Board, because of concerns about the timing, but did involve and get at least tacit agreement from the other officers.

Sadly, I cannot accept having Mike Wavada on the Board with his repeated refusals and hostile attitude towards my role as President.  

Therefore, per CBA By-Laws 6.12(b) – Removal –  An At-large representative may be removed by an affirmative vote of the Board of Directors, 

as Mike is one of the 4 at-large representatives, I am requesting a vote on his removal from the CBA Board be held at Thursday’s meeting.

It should be noted that, while there are very specific rules concerning removal of a District Representative Board members, including certified notice 30 days before the Board meeting (ByLaw 6.12(a)), that is not true for at large representatives, who per by-law 6.6(f), “…shall service at the will of the President and the Board of Directors.”

Attached are 8 .pdf files, numbered 0-7, the first (#0) showing the original email advertisement for the tournament that is the subject of concern, and the next 7 being copies of emails (I believe complete showing all correspondence to which I was a party).  In each case, I have put the name of the person sending the email in red, so you can more easily follow the discussions.

Obviously, this is not a pleasant request, as I have know and worked with Mike for many years.  But, given the exchanges over the last few days, I do not see any alternative.

Feel free to call or email as you wish.  My next email will be the ZOOM instructions for the meeting.

The only word that upset me in this email was “finally”. I had set to work on preparing the spreadsheet as soon as I sent the email promising to do so. It involved exporting the “audience” from MailChimp to my PC. I had not done this for several years and never using Chrome, which is the browser I used when working on my free account. Chrome displayed the page in a way that threw me off. It also has a totally different way to handle downloads than Firefox, which I had previously used. I did not dawdle. It took a few hours to figure this out, find the extract file, unzip it, load the file for the subscribers into the spreadsheet program, remove all of the columns except the email addresses, save it as a csv file, and send it to Peter.

Peter did not ask for anyone’s opinion on the matter, but the response was overwhelming. Jan Rosow’s was the first to arrive:

I am against Mike Wavada being removed.  His articles have no malicious intent and are creative with researched pictures.  I am sorry that this is overblown in my opinion. Mike has given countless hours of volunteering and web site creation and it would be a  Major loss not to have him on the Board!  

Someone whom I did not know named Marsha Scherr sent me a very nice email. I have included a photo that she embedded in it:

Clicking on the above image will take you to the story that inspired Marsha.

Hi.  I feel a need to write to you to say I’m sry you got grief from people who, in my opinion, are uninformed about The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and the whole Lone Ranger cult.  Of course I’m talking about anyone over the age of 60.  My friends and I have had an email exchange and we feel similarly.  We were all Lone Ranger fans.  We girls had Lone Ranger lunch boxes, etc.  Girls loved the sexy Lone and appreciated the friendship of Silverheels.  I think all kids understood we were watching 2  friends who trusted one another, who were from different cultures, & worked together to get the bad guys (& I sort of remember the bad guys were white guys).

Silver was a euphemism in the days of Tonto and the Lone.   You made it a meme so kudos to you

PS:  Please add my name to distribution list of CT Bridge

Take care & don’t let the naysayers get to you.

This was followed by supportive emails from Esther Watstein, Deb Noack, and Roger Caplan. Others must have called Peter. This long defense of his conduct was in his inimitable style.

I am sending this directly to the 5 people on the Board who have responded to me directly, copying the other Board members. Obviously, for those who have not responded so far, your views are welcome and appreciated.

Let me make my position very clear.

Mike Wavada is an extremely valuable resource.  As I said in one of my emails, I probably know this better than almost anyone as he has served as the communications chair and webmaster of D25 for many years and we have worked together quite successfully.  I also wrote that I have seen dozens of examples of Mike’s authoring publicity for tournaments that is creative, funny and very effective and I have told him and others that many times.  Someone suggested that, in addition to expressing the CBA’s apology for this email, I should tell Mike that he could not send out any future unit-based communications without my prior approval. I rejected this concept totally.  However, ill-advised I believe the “Tonto” email was, Mike has, as he has said, a long track-record of excellent communications and one email, if it is unfortunate, cannot wipe out a long history of excellence.

I personally feel the “Tonto” ad was a mistake, not intentional and not malicious, but a mistake nonetheless.  I did not come to the decision to act on this view based on my personal opinion; in fact, I asked a number of bridge players their view to see if I was over-reacting and, to a person, was told that this was totally inappropriate.

Someone (apologies, but I believe it was Roger, best wishes to your daughter) commented on his view that this should have gone before the entire Board.  That is certainly a valid view but, in my opinion, not logistically workable until Thursday and taking action that far away would not be effective.  And, I did, and do, believe that action was necessary.  So, I did bring into the discussion the other Officers; none suggested doing nothing and Deb was kind enough to rewrite and significantly improve what I had originally written.  From this, I believe I was acting with the support of the Officers.

As I have said, I do not want to wade into the offensive/woke debate.  I do not believe that this email is about either.  Mike wrote that he would welcome responding to people who were offended.  Personally, my goal is to not offend people who will want a response.  While I do know that people can be offended by anything (a friend told me of neighbors who are offended at one of them flying the American flag from their porch), I think minimizing such offense has to be a reasonable goal of any organization.  It is with this in mind that I believe the “Tonto” email was unnecessary.

For the record, I believe I sent out something like 1300 emails and have so far received a total of 4 responses, two of them thanking me for addressing an offensive email and two of them telling me, in basically so many words, “To get a life.”  I have responded to all, thanking them for taking the time to express themselves.

Anyone involved in media knows that, if you get a small number of replies, there are a lot of people who feel the same way who don’t bother to write, so I am sure there were many people who were not offended and some who were.  However, I believe that, if the imagery were a silver mine, or a silver tea service, or anything else silver, there would have been none offended.  Wouldn’t that be better, particularly when we are working overtime to try to get people back and cannot afford to lose even a small number of players?

But, I do not believe this is now about the “Tonto” ad.  It is about the roles on the CBA Board.  After consultation with the Officers, I wrote to Mike to send out a communication to the members expressing the view of the President and the Officers.  While Mike wrote that he was not the Board Communication Chair, the original email was sent over his name and I did not see any email from Mike to Ken with the proposed copy or Ken’s approval as Communications Chair.

I could understand if I had told Mike to send this out over his name, basically making him publicly apologize for “his mistake.”  But that was never the case, and all he as asked to do was “push the computer button” that would send out the emails.    If Mike has the information of whom he sent email to, and the President asks him to send an email to that audience, particularly after the other Officers have been involved so this is not “a President run amok,” I expect him to do it.  If Mike, or anyone on the Board, has the authority to flatly refuse to do this, then the President is no longer the President.  It is for this reason, not for the original copy, not because Mike (and others) felt it wasn’t offensive, and not because he (and others) expressed their disagreement to me in ways that I found offense (I am a “big boy” [in man ways] and have heard a lot worse things said about me, just ask any ACBL Board of Directors member), that I requested Mike’s removal from the Board.

I have repeatedly written to Mike that I am sorry if he disagrees with what I did.  I have never meant to offend him, impugn his work or anything else.  If Mike will write to the Board that he apologizes for the way he handled this, not the original email but his refusal to send out the communication that I sent him, and accept that I had the right to ask him to send it, then I will withdraw my suggestion that he be removed from the CBA Board.  That will allow us to put this in the rearview mirror and move forward.

The “Push a button” comment was not accurate. Peter was ordering me to use my personal email account to send an email that I was convinced would be both humiliating to me and more likely to be counterproductive than not for reasons that I had already explicated. The idea would not have been as innocuous or anonymous as he depicted:

  1. My email address (Mike@Wavada.org) would be listed on each mail. It was probably the most famous email address among bridge players in New England. If I changed the setting for this one message, it would increase the probability of being flagged as spam. I had twice faced dealing with being blacklisted. I took great pains to avoid that possibility.
  2. My home address was listed at the bottom of each email.. I doubt that I would have remembered to change it. This would be another red flag.
  3. My experience told me that a good number of people would unsubscribe if only because it came so soon after the previous message. I needed to use this account for planned future emails for this event and others.
Linda Starr.

Linda Starr, who at the time was also on the CBA Board, wrote the following shortly after receiving Peter’s email.

Regarding the Tonto issue itself, you might be interested in some facts. If so, you can check out the Wikipedia entry on Tonto, in which it says: “The radio series identified Tonto as a chief’s son in the Potawatomi nation. The choice to make Tonto a Potawatomi seems to come from station owner George Trendle’s youth in Mullett Lake, Michigan. Located in the northern part of the Midwest, Michigan is the traditional territory of the Potawatomi, and many local institutions use Potawatomi names. Trendle gained the name “Tonto” from the local Potawatomi, who told him it meant “wild one” in their language.” Note that Tonto, whatever it means in Spanish, is not and never was taken from the Spanish language. Wikipedia goes on to say,”in the Spanish dubbed version, the character is called “Toro” (Spanish for “bull”) or “Ponto”. I found this information on several other sites as well, but this was the most concise.

Also, on Britannica, it says, “Tonto was identified in some stories as a member of the Potawatomi tribe and was presented as principled, virtuous, and fiercely loyal. Despite his stunted English, he was also portrayed as both intelligent and wise.” 

So perhaps with a little research and greater early communication with the entire board, we might have simply decided to provide this information to anyone who was offended and let them decide for themselves if Tonto was, in fact, an unflattering and “horribly offensive” representation of Native Americans. 

Beyond those facts, and whatever you choose to believe about the appropriateness of Tonto, I believe the request to remove Mike from the board or of subjecting him to any further repercussions is … honestly, I simply lack appropriate words to respond to this proposal. We all know the tremendous amount of great work Mike has done on a volunteer basis to support and promote bridge in New England for many years. And in this case, as is characteristic of Mike, he simply stood up for what he believed despite enormous pressure. I admire him for it.

PS: Just as I was about to hit Send to this email, I received Peter’s latest email. I do NOT believe Mike owes anyone an apology. This just goes on and on.

Peter must have received negative feedback from others. At this point he decided to resign as president! Here is how he did it.

(I am copying Rich DeMartino since he initially approached me and asked if I would be willing to be put on the nominating slate for CBA President.)

I am sending this to you as the Vice-President.  As of Tuesday, January 31, I will be resigning as President of the CBA.  The way the organization and the Board is responding, not just to the original email, which I agree was well-meant but unfortunate, but then to the response by people like Mr. Wavada and Ms. Starr, is not one that I feel I can properly represent.

Things that need to be done:

1) I am a CT representative to the D25 Executive Committee, and the next week is in two weeks.  Phyllis will need to appoint a replacement (Mike Wavada is the other CT representative).  You need to communicate your choice to Carole Weiser, D25 Secretary.

2) Cornelia Guest resigned as tournament coordinator, send me information about the church for a sectional, and they have written to me.  You need to contact them so they will contact you and not me.  You will also need to appoint a new Unit Tournament Coordinator.

3) You need to inform the ACBL of the change in officers so they will send future emails to the correct individuals.

4) If you wish to have the Board meeting I called for this Thursday, someone will need to set up the ZOOM meeting and send out the invitation information.

I wish you all the best.  I was hoping this would be an enjoyable and beneficial relationship for me and the CBA and a return to the unit that I served for so long.  Sadly, it appears that cannot be the case.

I did not want this outcome. Several of my open projects required assistance from him in his other roles. I had no relationship with the vice-president, Phyllis Hartford. I did not know her very well, but I doubted that she wanted the job under these circumstances.

Rich DeMartino.

I received a telephone call from Rich DeMartino. He told me that he thought that this issue had gotten “way out of proportion”, which was in accord with my “tempest in a teapot” comment in the beginning. At his request I sent him this email concerning whether I could continue working with Peter.

I have no objection. I consider Peter one of the most talented and the most generous person that I have ever met. I have worked closely with him on several projects, some of which are still ongoing. It would be a lot easier for me if he agreed to continue and let bygones be bygones.

I am only speaking for myself.

Peter asked to talk to me on the phone about continuing to work together. I said that I really hated to talk on the phone, but I provided my cell number if he thought it was best. Instead he sent this email.

I want to express my concern, sadness and regret at how events have unfolded over the last week. Specifically.

1) I do not and never have blamed you or felt you did something wrong in creating the image and copy of the email notice for the Hartford I/N sectional.  I did, and do, feel that some will find it offensive and do not believe it is effective to advertise a bridge tournament by offending anyone.  

2) While I am new to the CBA, I have worked with you for many years at the district-level and seen your excellence at developing tournament marketing.  Your words and pictures have always been not only effective but creative and funny.  I have repeatedly told you that before many tournaments.

3) Nonetheless, for this latest email, I felt that something more was needed, so I worked with the other CBA officers to develop a follow-up email, which was actually written by Deb Noack, improving on the one I originally wrote.  I believe sending this out had the support of all the Officers and I believe, with the support of the officers, I had every right to expect this email to be sent out on behalf of the CBA.

3) The message did not in any way implicate you nor criticize you or anyone else.  It would have come from the CBA, not your personal account over my signature so, to the extent that there was embarrassment, it would have fallen on me, not anyone else.

4) I asked you, as the expert in using the email system and the originator of the distribution list for the Hartford tournament, to send this subsequent email to the same audience.

5) When you repeatedly refused to do so, I reacted angrily by proposing your removal from the CBA Board.  This was a serious over-reaction and I apologize for doing it and for any negative implications it had.

I hope you will accept this sincere apology and we can move forward collaboratively.

“See” you this Thursday.

My reply was, as usual, much shorter:

There was no need to apologize. I don’t hold anything that you did against you.

You certainly had a right to send the apology. I had reasons for not wanting to send it myself, but I did not express them. I apologize for that. I tried to get the list to you as rapidly as I could, but I had never done that in Chrome (which is what I use for CBA stuff), and I could not find the file that I had exported for almost an hour.  I am also sorry that I did not ask you or someone from the board to review the original email.

Most of all I am sorry that this whole mess caused a battle of wills between two people who need to be on the same side in the fight to prolong the future of face-to-face bridge.  

A lot of people approached me at the club in the ensuing weeks to tell me that they were sorry that I had to endure this. I did not say so, but in fact the only thing that really bothered me was the prospect of being removed from the D25 Executive Committee.

Epilogue: I received one more mild complaint. Lynn Thomas, whom I did not know, wrote me that the email was “very un-PC”. I asked her who would be offended. She replied “the entire Native American community”.

I sent this email to her:

I have researched this and seen absolutely no statistical evidence for your claim. Are Native Americans offended by James Fenimore Cooper’s secondary character of Chingachgook, the Last of the Mohicans? Do you think that it is impossible for a writer to create an inoffensive character of a different race, nationality, or gender? Tonto was beloved by millions of Americans, and merchandise that features him is still all over the Internet.

I think that Tonto’s character stands on its own. He was as close to a flawless individual as I can imagine, and he was portrayed on TV by a Native American, Jay Silverheels. His grammar wasn’t great, but obviously English was not his native tongue. If he is compared to anyone, it should be to the other sidekicks, who were always quirky and sometimes buffoons. My firm opinion is that we should not cancel the character of Tonto.

And his horse, Scout, was just as cool as Silver, and he didn’t rear all the time.

I should have also emphasized that Tonto really rocked those buckskins.

The clue for 8 Down was “The Lone Ranger’s Companion”.

Linda Starr had the last word: “From Monday night’s (actually Tuesday’s, I think) NYT online crossword puzzle. I was so offended, I could barely finish the puzzle. I hope the press doesn’t get hold of this!!!”


The Limited Sectional that the original email promoted was very successful. You can read about it here.


1. I maintained a relational database that contained one record for everyone in the ACBL from 2014 on. I also had a free MailChimp account that allowed me to send emails to several thousand people at a time, and I was allowed to use two lists. One list I used several times per week for the Simsbury Bridge Club. The other I used for this project.

2. NLM is short for non-Life Master. The rank of Life Master had several criteria, one was the earning of 75 silver masterpoints. All points at sectional tournaments were silver. Other opportunities for receiving them were rare.

3. Rich DeMartino was a legend in the CT bridge community. He held the highest rank in the ACBL, Grand Life Master, and had won a World Championship. He was District Director of New England for many years. Both Peter and I had worked closely with him and held him in very high regard.

4. The actual attendance, even excluding the considerable number of volunteers from the HBC, was considerably more than the upper limit that Peter mentioned.